The Sea, My Mother

Sitting here in this deserted seashore all by myself
at midnight has become almost like a habit.

Looking at the flickering lanterns of country craft
out somewhere in the sea, where fisherfolk hunt
for the seas's bounty, watching crabs come out to play
under the starlit sky, I listen to the rage of waves.

I remember the gentle sea breeze, how it wiped away
the tears from my eyes, once during those dark desolate days
with a mother's tender hands. The sea is my mother now!

It's there that her ashes were immersed by me
- in the sea, not here - on another shore
a little far away but the sea is the same.

All oceans are one. Her ashes have merged,
spread through all the waters of the world,
mingled with her forefathers' as mine will one day.

Contours or her lovely smile keep fading with time,
but memories remain, of beautiful moments
and admonitions tempered with love.

A mother's concern for a wayward son
throwing gauntlets, breaking free of conventions, taboos.
Too liberal for her traditional value system.

How can I tell her that life has come full circle
for yesterday's rebel? The leftist extremist now Gandhian!
Jazz and Pop gave way to Sopanam and Carnatic.
City bird seeks out countryside!

Is the sea listening? Do you hear mother? Know not!
Every year the waves carry a homage of red roses
offered by me, my wife and friend - ever get it? Know not!

Yet it gives such relief to sit here and share
my thoughts, joys, sorrows, triumphs, and failures with you.
I'll come back to this seashore at the end of the day
drunk and tired, to repent.
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Notes: Sopanam - a kind of Indian classical music that developed in the temples of Kerala, South India,
Carnatic - South Indian classical music

Published in the anthology
'A Poet's View of Being'
by Brian Wrixon Books, Canada (2012).